Will's Magic Potion

Blubber, blubber

Toil and trouble

Cellulose burn

Under skin and stubble

With Death by Chocolate and  

Cold Champagne,

Pickled herring, 

Your BMI Bane!

When Fate brings heart attacks

That soar and surge,

Will a deadly rose help you

Poison and purge?

Grecian Formula for your hair,

Contact lenses for your eyes,

But what fool-proof plan appears in your head

To handle those rotund thighs?

My Cure-All Potion is what you Need,

100% Risk-Free Guaranteed.

It will make those stones just melt away,

Without making your wallet bleed.

Trust me.