Greetings,
My name is Sarah, and I'm a licensed supernatural therapist. Being immortal, I actually have a PhD in psychology and social work, a medical degree in psychiatry, and literal decades of experience. More than a century, less than a millennium for those crass enough to ask.
Since vampires are now an open secret, we decided to use modern technology to help both vampires and other supernatural people navigate the modern world. If you have any questions or conundrums, please email me. I will answer all questions, even if it takes a few days.
For now, let's get to the first email I have received.
Dear Sarah,
I was approached yesterday by two rather burly human young men, asking me if I needed henchmen. Henchmen? Shouldn't it be henchpeople? And does anyone really use henchpeople?
Anyway, I am an accountant, so I do not really need hench-anything. I told them I was not interested, but they seem to think that they need to prove themselves to me. They have followed me around for about two weeks now.
Help! How do I convince them to leave me alone?
- Confused in Chicago
Dear Confused,
Well, this is new. I asked around, and no one in my friend circle has ever been approached by humans who want to work for them as henchmen.
Do you have proof of them stalking you? I know this sounds strange, but I suggest you use human law enforcement and judicial system to get a restraining order against these people. Or at least begin the process. Maybe the threat will be enough to make them see you are serious.
If that doesn't work, then I strongly suggest you tell your local Council representative. Someone above your pay grade will handle the situation.